I have been reading through the blog archives. I realized that nothing has changed much. I’m still depressed. There may be moments of happiness, but they’re few and far between, scattered in a dark sea of sorrow. I’m so close and happiness is within reach but I’m too afraid to take the next step. I worry too much of what people think. I feel so ashamed when they look at me.
Brokeback has left an haunting effect on me. As I am reaching closer toward my 30th birthday, I deeply regret that I have wasted half my life trying to come to terms with my problem. I’m not going to waste any more. Life’s just too short. I will find love and happiness.
It may have seemed obvious to some of you. The question may have crossed your mind. I’ve been always afraid of you finding out. I have contemplated to great lengths on what to say and how to say it should the moment arise. Well the fact is that I don’t really know. I know that some of you may never understand or accept me. The best that I can ask of you is to let me be.
Here’s to new beginnings… Cheers, mate.
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